Chocolate Conversations

My husband is adorable. And handsome. Smokin' hot. Excessively manly. But to me, he is mostly adorable. That's why I can give him a pass on having incomprehensible taste buds.

On our honeymoon, we spent four awesome days in Park City, soaking in the summer, walking through the bright and exuberant downtown, drinking in the sights and sounds of the local boho-chic/"yuppie ski-bunny on summer holiday" feel of the quaint town. It was amazing. 

There was a discovery made on our honeymoon that has become a focus of consistent conversation in our relationship. Chocolate. Get your minds out of the gutter-not that type of discovery. 

What I learned is that men and women evaluate, savor and consume chocolate very differently. 

I am an admitted food snob. My dream vacation involves me and my best friend eating our way through Europe, wearing only yoga pants to allow for maximum stomach expansion. I love going to restaurants where I can order a killer cheese plate and smear mellow-roasted cranberry garlic on hunks of crusty bread. I think my husband would cry if I took him somewhere like that. He has been very, very sweet about eating whatever I concoct in the kitchen at home (and has surprisingly become a fan of roasted asparagus and cabbage!), but I throw him a bone every few weeks and whip up a giant pot of chili or order him pizza. I knew I would have to do this when we got married. What I didn't expect was a massive divide between us on the subject of chocolate.

While we were in Park City, we were threading our way through some gorgeous art installations and photography galleries. BJ spotted a Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory around the corner, and suggested we go find a treat. I am going to play this experience out as best as I can imagine it in his mind, and with absolute reality in mine. All mental, no dialogue exchanged.

BJ: I'm hungry. Oh look, a chocolate store. Let's go get something. I'll score points with my new wife and it will only cost a dollar or two.

Lauren: How sweet! Rocky Mountain Chocolate is decent chocolate, for a domestic brand. Not bad. 

BJ: I guess we'll both get a truffle then, since that's what she is drooling over. I've never seen her eyes light up like that before. Man, those are really small. Ok, so they must be about fifty cents each. Why aren't there any prices on the display? Maybe they are samples...

Lauren: Truffles! How wonderful! I love truffles! 

BJ: What the what? $7 for two bites of chocolate! This is highway robbery! I could get 7 Hershey bars or Snickers for that price. Gah! Oh well. GULP.

Lauren: I love to savor these. Little bites and let it melt and mellow. Yum. OH MY GOSH HE ATE THE ENTIRE THING IN ONE BITE AND BASICALLY SWALLOWED IT WHOLE!!! SAVAGE!!! MISCREANT!!! HOW DID I MARRY YOU???

BJ: So not worth $3.50 a pop. I couldn't even taste it. Pizza for dinner is the only way to make up for this.

Further investigation of the chocolate travesty has yielded this data. BJ (and I am assuming many men) look at treats through the lens of "how much can I get for the least amount of money?" My sister-in-law had a similar experience with her husband and a Ghirardelli chocolate, and he expressed the same sentiment. If I can get five candy bars for the price of one nibble of chocolate, then why would I ever eat the expensive stuff? I suppose I should applaud them for their thrift and economy.

It is useless to point out that Hershey's tastes like wax, or that Nestle leaves a funny film on your teeth. It is futile to do a side-by-side comparison of the increased quality of Cadbury, Guittard or Ghirardelli against store-brand chocolate. It is a waste of time of the highest order to encourage a bite of Callebaut, Lindt or my personal favorite, Ritter Sport. Never mind attempting to convince him that a trip to Europe to taste local chocolatiers would be worth his time. 

Bites will be inhaled. Nothing will be savored. Snickers will be coveted. Sigh.

A number of conversations with other women have all revealed the same attitude of their husbands and boyfriends towards chocolate. Such a tragedy. 

Yet another "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" moment ;)

Oh well! Someday, cute husband will stay home with the children while I traipse through Europe with best friend, savoring every calorie-laden bite! He can have his Hershey bars. Heaven knows I love him for it!

Go eat some chocolate. You know you want to.